


The missing bracelet

by NotLaxusDreyar



Series: Batboys in the manor [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Jason is petty, M/M, also alfred, bruce is too old for this shit, damian is mia, damian only mentioned, dick is weirdly cheerful, i have no idea what im doing, just some form of crack, not fluff but not angst, tim is annoyed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-05 10:32:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17323364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLaxusDreyar/pseuds/NotLaxusDreyar
Summary: Jason loses a bracelet. Bruce is too old for this shit. Featuring the one and only, Jason Todd.





	The missing bracelet

**Author's Note:**

> hi yes im sorry for this i have no idea what im doing

It was a regular day in Gotham. Well, as regular as it could be for Gotham. The sun wasn't shining, there were no birds chirping (what happened to the birds??) and if you listen closely you will hear a distant screaming coming from Wayne Manor.

This screaming was none other than our (first) resident zombie, Jason Todd.

Why was he screaming at eleven in the morning, you ask? Let's find out (GOd who wrote this script- wait, nope, it was me). 

"I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES!" Jason was yelling from upstairs. "EXCEPT FOR YOU CASS, AND ALFRED! BUT APART FROM THEM I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YOU AND I WILL FIND YOU, AND I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD AND FEED IT TO THE CROWS." Downstairs, Bruce, who was reading the newspaper (who does that anymore??) sighed. He was getting was too old for this shit. Tim was watching one of the older episodes of "Scooby Doo" and predicting the events as they unfolded while juggling his coffee and his phone. Dick was on the couch next to him, on his fifth (sixth?) bowl of cereal and wearing a batman shirt that read "I only work in black (or sometimes very, very dark grey)". Said shirt was around three sizes too big for him with two or three faded stains on it.

Damian was out 'frolicking' (Tim's words, not mine) with Jon. Before he'd left, Tim had yelled "Use protection!" With Jon waiting at the door. Probably one of the most embarrassing events in Damian's life.

"WHERE IS IT YOU LITTLE SHITS?" Jason yelled again. 

Tim spoke up, yelling back at him. "What are you looking for?!" Bruce opened his mouth to answer, but Jason was already barreling down the stairs. Flipping over the hand rail, he spun around to face Tim. "The bracelet, dipshit." Tim scoffed. Dick lightly slapped the back of his head. "Why is it so important that you feel the need to bring down Gotham at-" Dick checked the watch in the corner of the room "- eleven in the morning? Wow, it's late."

Jason glared at his brothers. "It's important."

"I asked why."

"Because." 

Tim rolled his eyes. "That's really unhelpful, so if you'd care to elaborate a little?" 

Jason turned red. "It's- Uh, yeah no."

"What?"

Dick grinned. "It was a gift from Roy wasn't it?" Tim giggled.

Jason (somehow) turned redder. "Shut UP. We got them from Portugal when we went last month. I can't fly back to Portugal to get anoth-" He turned to look at Bruce, who shook his head in an 'absolutely not' motion "I can't fly back to Portugal to get another one!"

Dick stood up, spilling little drops of milk as he went, and said "We'll help you look for it! Won't we Tim?" Tim groaned loudly. Dick nudged him.

"No. No, no, no, no. I don't trust you- shut your dumb mouth and sit back down and wipe up all that milk that you spilled everywhere because frankly it's pissing me the hell off."

Dick pouted a little and frowned. The sight reminded Jason of how Lian had acted when he told her she couldn't have a sixth cookie after dinner. But Dick was a grown-ass man and he could handle a little rejection now and then, especially from his brother. Tim just rolled his eyes and sat back down. Since he had never intended to help anyway, he decided to continue watching his show and finally have his necessary fifth cup of coffee. He was a real bitch without it.

Jason spun on his heel dramatically and leaped back up the stairs. Bruce sighed (again) and folded the newspaper, chucking it on the table next to him.

"Alfred! Have you seen the bracelet?!" Came from the area around Jason's bedroom. Bruce heard the muffled sound of Alfred telling Jason something along the lines of 'no'. Bruce walked to the kitchen, the only slightly safe place in the house (since Alfred was always there and everyone was too afraid to start a fight) and made himself another cup of coffee. He was going to need it to get through this day.

\---

Meanwhile, upstairs, Jason was running around from room to room checking for the band, (without success). He had already checked Dick's room, twice, Tim's room once, Damian's room, Bruce's room and his own, along with a few of the bathrooms attached to the bedrooms. So far, no luck. 

Dick's room was a mess: dirty laundry, spare change, pictures, unmade bed, two left shoes and a Lego christmas tree on an unorganized desk. It made Jason want to (for lack of better words) throw up.

Tim's room was worse. It was so much worse. Around sixteen mobile phones lying around, at least three tablets and a running computer with the screensaver saying 'you should be working'. Hastily made bed with headphones sitting on the floor. An orange peel was on his desk along with a half-eaten apple and what seemed like a dead lizard. Jason actually feared for Tim's future, seeing the state of that room.

Damian's room, on the other hand was way too neat for a ten year old. Wait- how old was Damian? Doesn't matter. What mattered was the perfectly made bed, clean desk and lack of orange peels and/or shoes. Where did he keep his shoes? Did he have only one pair? Okay, getting off track here. 

The bathrooms were surprisingly clean, despite the state of their rooms, and there was nothing really in there, except for Dick's shampoo, soap and- that's it. Tim and Damian didn't have any soap. Nothing. That honestly weirded him out so much that he forgot about the bracelet for a second- BUT ONLY A SECOND, mind you. 

Jason was beginning to give up hope- but that's when he saw it! A thin strip of brown leather hanging BEHIND a hand towel in one of the separate bathrooms. What idiot puts something so small behind a hAND TOWEL? He grabbed it, put it in his pocket and ran back down, almost dropping it again, and naruto-ran directly in front of the television. He coughed a little, cleared his throat and looked at his irritating family. 

"Hear ye, asshats! I have been victorious in my goals and achieved the bracelet of destiny, while simultaneously investigating all of you to see if you are truly who you say you are. By the way Dick, Tim, here are you wallets back-" He pulled two wallets out of his back pocket and threw them in the direction of his brothers, causing offended and confused noises coming from the two of them, "So now, fare thee well. Parting would be such sweet sorrow, but you're all dirtwipes. Adieu!"

As he opened the front door, he heard someone go "nerd" and so for the sake of pettiness, he threw a button from his pant at Tim, turned around and said, "I still don't know who took it in the first place so for now, you're all under the microscope.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a real thing that happened by the way. sadly no one offered to help me. because i was accusing them of stealing it. anyway i got bored s o i wrote it down. comments/kudos is alwasy appreciated!


End file.
